Monday, May 6, 2013

Marriage



Have you ever had a crazy, busy and exhausting day of traveling home?  You know that feeling of opening your front door? (minus the thought of all the unpacking and laundry you have to do.)  That's how I feel when I'm with David.  It's a familiar, comfortable, safe, and happy feeling.
I love David with all that I have. I often tell him how sad I would be if he wasn’t mine.  It’s true… I would be so very sad.  And not only because I know that he is the one I am supposed to be with for eternity but because I love and like him too.  A lot. There is so much good in David.  He has so many qualities that I hope to one day have.  I love and appreciate who he is.  We are in love and I am grateful for it!  But don’t think for one second that is always hugs and kisses, “no, I love you more!”, romantic dinners, and love notes. Nope... our marriage does not always look like some of the pictures I post of us...


:)

This may come as a shock to you (ha) but I can be snotty, sarcastic, and down right rude sometimes. There are times that I slam the cabinets and doors (why does that feel so good?) and lay so close to the opposite edge of the bed that if I so much as sneeze I’m going to fall right off.  David can drive me crazy sometimes. And there’s no doubt I can drive that boy up the wall. Our marriage isn’t perfect. Marriage is hard. Marriage is work.  And we constantly have to work at it. There will always be up’s and down’s. But I find that some of the "down" times are when I am being selfish.  Putting my wants and my desires before his. But I can honestly say that when I put aside my selfish thoughts and put him first that we are both happier.  It’s about being humble.  Being humble can be hard.  There are times that I pray, "please, please, PLEASE help me to be humble!!" and there are times where I have to pray just to have the desire to want to be humble! 

I love what my cousin recently wrote on her blog about her marriage… 
“We aren't bound to each other only by a marriage certificate or even the sealing that was so very sacred and special. We're bound to each other because we love, forgive and respect each other.”

Love that. Especially the word forgive.  There will be many opportunities to do that in marriages.  Actually, in all of our relationships. 

Side note: I am reading The Peacegiver.  Have you ever read it?  If you haven’t, you HAVE to read this book and if you have read it, you have to read it again…. It is so good! The things you come to understand about forgiveness through the atonement and the Savior’s love for others is absolutely incredible.  (It is a great read for those who are married, single, divorced, teenagers... anyone and everyone! PLEASE read this book!)

I loved Elder Clayton’s talk during General Conference. He said some really good things.  Here is one of my favorite things he said…

“Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness. Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages.”
Selfless, answers softly, listens kindly, faithful, meek.  How wonderful would it be for someone (especially your spouse) to describe you with those words?  Humility is key. 
Sometimes there are things going on in our marriages and lives and we may feel like there’s no hope.  Elder Clayton says,

“There are those whose marriages are not as happy as they would wish, as well as those who have never married, are divorced, are single parents, or for various reasons are not in a position to marry. These circumstances can be full of challenge and heartbreak, but they need not be eternal. To those of you in such situations who nevertheless “cheerfully do all things that lie in [your] power” to persevere, may heaven bless you richly…. Keep the commandments, and trust the Lord and His perfect love for you. One day every promised blessing concerning marriage will be yours.”

 No matter what your situation is if you bring it back to yourself (the only one you have true control over) you will find peace as the Lord will bless you.  I am really trying to work on this in all of my relationships.  Want to try with me?

1 comment:

whit said...

So happy to read you blog! Cate, you're wonderful. I'm glad to know you slam doors when you're mad too lol. I love doing that because it really does make me feel better. For FHE recently Brandon and I listed to a talk from the last conference on marriage (I think it's the same one you quoted). I loved when he said, "Marriage is a gift from God to us. The quality of our marriage is a gift from us to God." Thanks for your thoughts. :) Sure love ya!!