Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Deuces Facebook

Tinsley was at school and Hollins was napping.  I thought I would be cleaning the house and having "special Mommy and Blakely time."  I found myself at the computer when Blakely came up to me and asked if she could go jump on the trampoline.  "Sure you can!" Oh this was perfect... the trampoline would entertain her for a "few" minutes while I finished wasting my time looking at time wasting things.  Then it hit me.  She didn't even ask me if I would jump with her.  She saw me at the computer and figured it wasn't going to happen.  My heart hurt and I blurted out, "Do you want me to jump with you?"  "YES!!! YAAAAAY!!!!!"  She was jumping up and down and smiling from ear to ear. We started walking to the back door.  Before going outside she turned around and said, "Hey mommy?  Don't bring your phone."  Guilt set in.  They do notice.  They notice when I am on my phone and the computer.  I left my phone on the computer table.  We went outside and she jumped her little heart out while I was right beside her. I wasn't just hearing her laugh this time but SEEING the smile that came with that darling little laugh.  As we jumped I realized what I had really known all along... I need to be present when I'm with my children.

I decided to deactivated my facebook. Let me start off by saying that I don't think facebook is bad and I won't be gone forever. I actually think facebook is great!  I have loved keeping in contact with old friends, new friends, and family.  It's been a wonderful way for me to share my thoughts, my testimony of the church, cute pictures of my kids, and to talk about how wonderful (and hott) my State Farm agent is ;) But I became addicted to it.  Yes, the rumors are true... my name is Catie and I am addicted to facebook.  I had thought about getting rid of my facebook for about... I don't know.... a year?  But when it came down to it, I felt like I could not give it up.  "What about all of my cousins that I keep in contact with through facebook? What if it snows?  I will need to get on to see if school is canceled. What about when I need parenting advice?" Yup, I could never get rid of it.  But deep down I knew I needed to.  Again, I'm not saying that facebook is bad... I'm just saying that for me personally I knew I needed to get off for awhile.  I wish I had the discipline to get on and off real quick, but I don't.  It's just too easy to click on that little blue square app and start scrolling.... next thing I know I am looking at pictures of puppies that belong to the cousin of the girl I had 9th grade gym with.(haha Oh my goodness I am just now realizing how embarrassing and ridiculous this sounds...)
So last week when I found myself scrolling down on my newsfeed and clicking on pictures while my kids played around me I thought, "I hate this. I am so sick of this. Such a waste of my time..." More importantly... such a waste of the time that should be spent being fully present when I'm with my children. It's time that shouldn't be spent checking my facebook to see if anyone responded to that controversial post someone put on their wall while playing the Ladybug game with Tinsley. Or telling my girls, "just one second" so I comment on the picture my friend posted of the cute snacks she made for her son's tee-ball team.   I know that there are going to be days where my mind will be preoccupied because that's life... but I don't ever want it to be because of time spent on facebook. I was done. I deactivate my facebook.  FREEDOM! It felt so good!  It feels so good!  I haven't missed it at all... not. at. all! I would miss sharing my thoughts and feelings so that's why I'm going to be writing on my blog.  I find blogging every few days to be a lot less time consuming and a great way to still share my thoughts. I can't even tell you the difference not having my facebook has made! I am happier.  I know it's only been a week, but I'm so happy I did it!  
So here's to being more present when I'm with my sweet little girls! Who knew life without facebook could be so wonderful?  


Brooke said...

First of all, that picture of Blakely is freakin CUTE!

And secondly, this post is awesome. I had a similar thing where I was just on the computer too much - not necessarily facebook, but different projects, and I felt like I was totally justified in being vacant while with my kids. Then Gage got lost (long story) for just like 15 minutes - oh I think you read my post about that - and it was the biggest wake-up call EVER. Since then I'm almost like scared to be distracted when I'm with them, but that's really waht I've needed. Our relationship (me and Gage's) has grown so much in the past couple weeks because I've really been with him. Okay, longest comment ever. But I just wanted to say, don't feel bad about your "addiction" - I think most SAHMs have similar things. That you are taking action is wonderful adn shows what a great mom you really are!

Taylor and Meagan Ethridge said...

I couldn't agree more! You'll never regret it- we only regret having it! You go girl

Leslie said...

Catie!! I've just been reading some of your posts! (I linked over to your blog from Instagram). I hope you don't mind! I read one entry, and then I just kept reading and reading!!! You are great with words! You have inspired me to start a blog like this someday! Xoxo
ps. I got off FB for the summer! Yea!